First Swim!

Just a quick blog here, because we're leaving on vacation today! We're going to be spending a week each in New Brunswick, Ontario, and Quebec, visiting family and friends. I'll probably update the blog from the road, though Tiernan's grandparents, who are the most eager readers, will actually be spending real live time with him and probably won't need to be checking the net!

On Friday (July 21st), Tiernan went swimming for the first time. He really enjoyed paddling around in Uncle Jon and Auntie Michele's pool. I was actually surprised by how much he enjoyed it. The only time he got upset at all was when I put him on his back. As long as he could see where he was going, he was fine. He's a very inquisitive baby. New experiences fascinate him. That makes for a lot of fun exploration of the world!

It's been a long time!

If you're someone who reads this blog at all, I'm sure you've noticed that it's been a very long time since I updated it (or added pictures to the flickr account). Apologies to everyone for that. The last few months have been a little crazy between looking after Tiernan, catching up at work and continuing to deal with a flare-up of my Crohn's disease. My health is still not great right now, but school is done for another year, so I've got more time for things like a blog.

Needless to say, Tiernan has changed a lot in the last three months. He is now almost five months old (eight days shy) and is starting to become more and more grown up all of the time. I'm not going to try to summarize the last three months. I think that would take so much time I'd never actually get it done! Instead, I'll just try to describe to you what Tiernan is like right now.

1. Physical Description
Tiernan now weighs 16lbs 12oz, and is 26 inches long according to the public health clinic. When we took him to the doctor recently his weight was quite a bit lower, which didn't make a lot of sense to us, because he doesn't look as underfed as the doctor said he must be. He is quite slim, but is safely at the 50th percentile. He's got some rolls, but not a lot of them. He's a lot like his cousin Pieter was in that way. He's very active, so he's not likely to get pudgy.
He didn't have a lot of hair at birth, mostly a bit at the back of his head. Almost all of that hair is gone and he looks quite bald as you can see in the picture above. New hair is just starting to grow in, a light dusting of ruddy brown coloured strands. I don't think his hair will remain red, but it's interesting to see his Irish heritage. He has super long eyelashes that show off his extremely dark eyes. Sometimes, it's hard to distinguish between the iris and the pupil. Nevertheless, he somehow manages to get red eye on almost every photo! That keeps Daddy busy with the computer photo software.
Tiernan's a very pale baby. Everyone comments on how white he looks, especially now that many people are getting summertime tans. He of course is not allowed to go tanning; we've strictly forbidden it. He has very sensitive skin too, with a couple of patches of eczema and red spots where his clothes tags have rubbed against him. Despite, or perhaps because of, his pale skin, he looks best in strong colours like dark blues or greens or in bright colours like red.

2. Temperament
Tiernan is what is called "spirited" by the Baby Whisperer (someone whose books on parenting we are reading). He's got tons of energy; his body parts are always moving when he's awake and often when he's asleep. He has definite opinions about where he wants to be and what he wants to be doing. And he does his best to make those opinions known, often with a yell to get Mommy or Daddy's attention. Notice I said a yell, not a cry. He does cry, though usually only when he's overtired. When he's hungry or has just woken up or wants to switch activities, he yells.
He loves spending time with people. Mom and Dad are his favourite options, but anyone will do. He's extremely personable and smiles brightly for people who talk to him. He's very comfortable being picked up by different people, which I'm sure the grandparents will be happy to hear! Most of the time, he is a very happy baby. He seems to enjoy living life and learning new things, and it's all the better for him if other people are there to do it with him. He especially loves kids, including his cousins and the kids at his babysitter's (a friend from church who looks after him occasionally so Deb can have some time to run errands or have a workout).

3. Developmental Description (Including activities he likes to do)
Tiernan began to play with toys several weeks ago. He's got a really strong grip and loves to pick things up. He usually then tries to eat them. He also loves eating his hands. Unfortunately all this chewing has led to a lot of drooling, so we often make him wear a bib!
He has started to enjoy looking at himself in the mirror over the past few weeks. He loves to look at the pictures that are on the walls and also at pictures in books. He enjoys listening to books in English, French, and Spanish. Might as well see if we can make him trilingual, eh? He loves to talk as well, vocalizing all sorts of things. We love having conversations with him.
He loves to explore, especially going outside to the backyard to look at everything there. New environments thrill him (and the house is starting to bore him). As a result, he is now happy to get into his car seat as he knows it means that he is going out. That's quite a change!
He enjoys watching his Baby Einstein videos and anyone singing on t.v. In fact he'll watch pretty much anything on t.v. He's got the potential to be a real couch potato if we're not careful! We have to remember to turn the t.v. off and play with him even when we're tired.
Fortunately, he's a very active boy, so we're not too worried. He loves to stand up and to bounce around. He enjoys spending time in his exersaucer and recently in his Jolly Jumper as well.
Finally, he is starting to enjoy sleep a bit more and we hope that continues! Because we need more ourselves. He's starting to do a better job of going to sleep when we put him in his crib. We're thankful he is willing to accept his stuffed puppy as a surrogate for Mom and Dad. He hangs on to it tightly as he goes to sleep and sometimes we find him lying in his crib wrestling with his puppy after his wakes.


I think that's all for now. Thanks for reading! I hope you've now got a better idea of how Tiernan's doing. Keep us in your prayers. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, emails and phone calls. They're all greatly appreciated!

Tim (with credit to Deb for a lot of the details)

P.S. Don't forget to check out Tiernan's new photos. Follow the link on the side!

Ready for his crib? No, not so much!

In this photo that I took a week ago, Tiernan looks like he is enjoying life in his crib. Don't be deceived! This visit to his crib lasted about 20 minutes before he started crying to Dad to take him out. Good news: he did seem to enjoy himself for those 20 minutes. The mobile that we had bought at the Swap Meet was definitely a hit. He also had fun with his stuffed puppy dog and the pillow that was sent all the way from New Zealand.

The crib is located in his nursery, which doubles as my office. For now, he sleeps in the bassinet in the playpen that we keep in our bedroom. Or, when he's fussy, he sleeps in the bed with us. A friend recently loaned us a mini-bed that sits in our bed between us so he sleep with us without us needing to worry about crushing him! It doesn't leave us with much room, but it's great for peace-of-mind.

Tiernan is starting to spend more time alert during the day. When he's happy this is producing some quality play time. He's smiling a lot more now, which makes playtime much more fun. Today, he did some jumping. I held his head up and supported his bum and he bounced up and down on the floor. When his neck becomes stronger, he's going to love the jolly jumper.

Unfortunately, part of the alertness seems to be a bit more trouble falling asleep. Once he's asleep, he has been having longer and deeper sleeps, but he has trouble getting to sleep in the first place. Lots of rocking is starting to build up my forearms!

Last Friday he had his final visit to the midwives. He passed "final inspection" with flying colours! He now weighs 11 lbs and is very healthy. That's great news, but comes with the sad addendum that we don't need to see the midwives anymore. We are very thankful to Carolyn, Lindsey, and Heather for all of the care that they provided for Deb and Tiernan. Great job, ladies. Thanks so much!

The New Normal

My cousin Julie, who became a new mom just a few months ago, asked in a recent email whether Deb and I had adjusted to the new normal. I thought the question was a good one and the phrase quite apt. Nothing is the same as it was before, nothing is really back to what we would have once called normal. So, what exactly is the new normal like? And have we adjusted to it?

1. The new normal involves the adaptation of almost every single activity. For example, Dad's time reading the sports on the internet is now also often time spent holding Tiernan to keep him occupied. He's been reading along with me and is convinced the Blue Jays are going to do really well this year!

2. Bed times are earlier and sleep is never for long periods of time. I miss sleeping in on Saturday mornings, as I usually get up and look after Tiernan for a few hours since I don't have to go to work. Deb misses just getting more than three or four hours of sleep at a time!

3. Conversations with other people begin and end with discussion of Tiernan. Usually the middle is pretty focused on him, too. We have crossed over into parenthood and now we find ourselves further differentiated from our friends without babies, both single and married. Having now gone through the life-changing process of having a baby, it's hard for me not to think that everyone should notice how much the world has changed now that my son is in it. However, I'm well aware that I probably didn't pay much attention to the births of children of our friends and family. I've resolved to do better in the future, though that resolve might be forgotten because of fatigue!

4. Garbage now outpaces recycling. We can no longer claim to recycle more than we throw out and I'm afraid that the dirty diapers are to blame. We've considered cloth diapers, honestly we have, but there seems so much to do in a day right now that we can't really imagine adding more. So, sorry to all you environmentalists and to the environment itself.

5. Normal now actually involves a lot of good quality couple time. Mostly because Deb's not at work anymore and balancing a shift-work schedule. We actually sit down for supper at the kitchen table at around 6 p.m. every night. And we talk. I don't miss eating supper alone on the couch in front of the t.v. while my wife is at work. We also spend a lot of time doing things as a family, like bathing Tiernan, or playing with him, or trying to get him through a fussy evening (which this week was every evening).

6. Normal also now involves many brand new activities. We are being initiated into the activities of parenthood's secret society. Like today, when we went to a Kid's Swap Meet. Previously, I avoided such things like the plague. Today, Deb and I plunged in. Well, okay, maybe we waded in more than plunged in. Admittedly, there was some trepidation, but we knew we'd survived bazaars in Africa, so we'd probably be okay. It was a somewhat chaotic experience, but we were able to get a few things that we needed at very reasonable prices. We'll go again to the next one in the fall, I imagine, and soon it will be old hat. Just part of the routine of parenthood.

There's a lot more to say and a lot more to discover about the new normal, but I think I need to go get some sleep. So, are we adjusting to the new normal? Yes, I believe we are. In some ways this is hard, but overall we really do prefer things the way they are now. Which I guess is a good thing, because there's nothing we can do about it now, is there?

Bath Time and a Weigh-In

We bought a new tub at Toys R Us last weekend. We thought it would be easier to work with a tub that sits in the sink and to a degree we were right. This is a picture of Tiernan taking his first bath in the new tub (with a carefully positioned wash cloth!). He's really beginning to enjoy his baths, which definitely makes the whole bathtime experience easier.

The second bath in the new tub took place on Tuesday and it didn't go so smoothly. We discovered that we have to start baby-proofing already! As you can see, there's a spider plant sitting right beside the sink. As we were starting his bath off, I was holding him in my arms and Deb was washing his hair. He started swinging his arms around and I joked that we'd better be careful or he'd grab the plant and pull it over. No sooner had I finished saying it than Tiernan did it!! Dirt from the plant filled his tub and the surrounding area and he just sat there in my arms, still holding a frond of the spider plant! He's already making mischief, little monkey.

Yesterday, Deb and I took him to the midwife for his five week check-up. It was actually supposed to be a four week check-up, but they didn't have a spot open last week. So, off we went to get him checked out. The main question we both had was how much he would weigh. He hadn't been weighed since he was two weeks old. At that time he was 7lbs 10oz. We had no idea how much he weighed now, but Deb had been somewhat worried that he wasn't eating enough. Boy was she wrong! As of yesterday, he weighed 10lbs! He gained over 2lbs in three weeks. Apparently, he is eating plenty. Expect to see the rolls of fat beginning to accumulate!

Of course, just after I wrote the previous paragraph this afternoon, he started fussing and has been fussing for about six hours. He seems to be hungry, but he doesn't want to eat. We finally got him to eat a little bit from a bottle. Hopefully, he'll fall asleep some time soon. Sometimes, this new job of ours can be very tiring! And it sure interferes with the old job. I was supposed to get a lot of marking done today and did none! Ah, well, there's always tomorrow.

Tim

Welcome and Thanks

First of all, I want to thank you for the love and support that so many of you have offered. We have appreciated all of the visits, meals, phone calls, emails, and gifts. We will be sending out some thank-you notes soon, but I thought I'd let you know how much Deb, Tiernan and I appreciate you.

This is just a quick entry to welcome you to the site. If you are viewing this entry, it's probably because I sent you an email telling you about it. I hope that you enjoy your visit. Feel free to read as much or as little as you like. Some of you are maybe not as familiar with blogs (weblogs), so let me point out a couple of things.

1. The entries appear in reverse chronological order, with the newest at the top.
2. You can leave comments by clicking on the word "comments" at the bottom of an entry.
3. There aren't many entries yet, but I will be trying to write an entry every week or two. Check back! As the blog grows, use the archives to return to older entries if you need to.
4. There is a link to a Flickr Photo page on the right hand side of the blog.

Flickr Instructions:
This page contains a selection of photos of Tiernan arranged in both a photo stream (in reverse chronological order from newest uploads to oldest uploads) and in three topical sets (in chronological order). You can click on a set to view it. Both the photo stream and the sets can also be viewed as slide shows (look for the link on the right hand side of a page).

These photos can be copied or saved to your own computer. They can then be printed on a home printer or at a store. Some stores will print them for you if you save them on a CD or upload them to the store online. I've done that at Walmart and will be making a gallery available soon that you can prints from at any Walmart. There is an option on Flickr, when you click on a photo, that says "order prints". Unfortunately this option only works in the U.S., not in Canada yet.

I hope these instructions are helpful. Feel free to email, comment or call if you have any questions.

Tim

The First Month (Happy St. Patrick's Day!)

Today is March 17th, St. Patrick's Day (notice the Irish green for both father and son!), and more importantly (at least from our admittedly biased perspective) the one month-iversary of Tiernan Marc!

The last month has flown by. Our days and nights have been consumed by looking after our son. It really is amazing how much time it takes! It's good though. I love spending time with him, just holding him in my arms or chatting to him as he stares back wide-eyed. It's already becoming hard to remember what life was like without him!

There are admittedly less picturesque moments. Early in the morning for example, when I'm trying to catch another hour's sleep and he starts crying for attention as if the world was coming to an end. Or tonight for example when I unwrapped him from his towel after his bath to find that he had pooped all over the towel and on my t-shirt as well. Yes, definitely not picturesque.

I had intended to get this blog up online earlier than this, but I've found it hard to get a lot done the last month. The day before Tiernan was born, I started having a flare-up of my Crohn's disease. Stress, I guess. I kept hoping it would go away as I got more sleep. This past week was March break. I was forced to admit that I wasn't getting any better, possibly because I wasn't yet getting more sleep! So, I got some meds from the doctor and started taking them. I don't like the side effects, but I am starting to feel better. Well enough in fact to finally finish the opening entries of this blog! So, I think I should just write a short summary of the last month.

Week 1
The first week of having a son went by in kind of a blur. I must admit I didn't expect to be so overwhelmed with fatigue. Tiernan was apparently also very tired, because he was very sleepy all of the time. So sleepy that it was hard to wake him up to feed him. He seemingly didn't have the energy to feed from the breast. Instead, Deb had to express breast milk with a pump and we had to feed him with bottles. As a result, we had to be constantly washing and sterilizing bottles and the breast-pump. Getting up in the middle of the night to fill the sink to wash them and then sterilize them in boiling water meant neither Deb nor I slept well. I was glad I could be home from work.

Other than eating and sleeping, babies also spend a lot of time filling diapers. I know that's not a shock to any of you, especially those who have children. It wasn't a shock to me either and I had changed diapers before Tiernan was born. What was amazing was just the sheer quantity of them a newborn can go through! I changed more diapers in that first week than I had in the rest of my life combined.

Week 2
The second week was a lot easier in some ways. Deb's Mom and brother were now here to help out, which was great. Tiernan began to wake up more completely and to master breast feeding, which meant all of the bottle work was greatly reduced. For me, this meant I was now allowed to sleep a little more at night. Unfortunately, I needed to go back to work, and found it hard to keep up with work and to actually spend time with my son. I'm sure that dilemma will continue for years.

As he fed better, he gained weight. At the end of that week he weighed 7lbs, 10oz, and was beginning to fill his clothes out a little better. The midwife was quite happy with his progress. Overall his health continued to be good, except for a problem with gas. He spent a lot of time squirming and crying in pain because of gas. He didn't seem to be able to burp very well, and so all of the gas had to pass in the other direction. Apparently this was quite uncomfortable for him (and for anyone holding him when he actually succeeded). It was very hard to watch him in pain like this.


Week 3
In the third week Deb's Dad and my Mom and Dad all arrived to visit as well. My parents stayed with Jon and Michele. Now, his Grandma and Grandpa Duncan and his Nana and Papa Bonnar were all around at very times to help with the workload. Good stuff! Those who have lived far away from parents will know what I mean - it is so nice to have grandparents around to help.

Tiernan started to be awake for longer periods of time. He was obviously paying rapt attention to the world, eager to learn. He went to church with his Mom and Dad for the first time. I played the part of the proud father, eager to show him to anyone who would look (at school I had only been able to show pictures). Deb played the part of the protective mother, bundling him up in enough layers to protect him from a Manitoban blizzard (remember we leave in balmy B.C.) and successfully making it very difficult for anyone to really see him as I showed him off!
Deb also bundled him up carefully for our first family walk which took place during the third week. It wasn't really all that far, a few blocks and then back home, but it was very nice to get out of the house on a beautiful sunny afternoon. He screamed to high heaven when we put him in the car seat (he still does most of the time), but once the seat was latched in the stroller and we had gone about a half a block he calmed down. Then, all of a sudden, he was asleep. This ability to switch from crying to sleeping so quickly amazes me.

About this time, Deb and I realized that our arms were getting tired and we needed to start finding some other places for him to spend time. We bought an "Aquarium Bouncer" seat that plays music and makes ocean noises while little plastic fish bob and twirl. Exciting stuff. At times it now even keeps him entertained for ten or twenty minutes. If we're lucky, he falls asleep to the sound of waves on the shore.

Gas continued to be a problem for the poor little guy this week. We gave him different meds like Ovol and Anti-Colic Tablets that worked to a degree, and tried all sorts of different ways to relieve the pressure. In the end, it was his first trip to the chiropractor that made the biggest difference. She aligned some joints and everything just seemed to be able to move better internally as well.


Week 4
The fourth week was my March break. After a couple of weeks at work, it was great to be able to spend full days with my son again to work on the bonding. After this week, I think he recognizes me so much more and feels even more comfortable with me.

A number of big events happened this week, biggest of which was his circumcision day. We had put this off because we weren't really sure what we wanted to do. However, once we decided to get it done, we were fortunate to get in quickly, on Wednesday, the 15th. I won't give a lot of details here and definitely won't show any pictures! Suffice it to say, the doctor who did it specializes in circumcisions (and vasectomies for dads) and he did an excellent job. It was over very quickly and Tiernan did not get that upset because of it. Nevertheless, it was hard to go through for all concerned. It took a few days for the swelling to go down, but there was no real bleeding after and he's doing well now.

A couple of days later we took a family picture with the Bonnar family. I'm sure I'll post that here soon or at least on his Flickr photo page. It was nice to be able have a photo of everyone together, now that there are three grandkids for Mom and Dad Bonnar.

One final sign of growth took place at the end of this week. Tiernan turned over from his stomach to his back! I lay him down on his stomach on a blanket on the floor to see if he liked that position. Apparently he didn't! He instantly pushed himself over to his back. I was so surprised I reached out to grab him to stop him (I'm so used to focusing on not letting him fall off the change table or the couch). Deb had to tell me not to stop him, that turning over is actually a good thing. We wanted see if he could repeat the action, so we put him on his stomach again and once again he twisted over right away. It must be all of the muscles developed from arching his back because of gas. I decided to try the experiment one more time. This time he just lay there and cried, upset at the man who kept putting him on his stomach!

I think that should provide a good summary of what's been happening in Tiernan's life for the last month. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

Hello, World!

Tiernan is a very friendly child. He's having a lot of fun just spending time with family and friends. As you can see, he's already mastered the skill of waving. Well, okay mastered is perhaps a strong word, but I've got a picture that proves he can do it.

If you have the chance to come visit, I'm sure Tiernan will give you a demo. So far, we've had Deb's Mom and Dad and her brother Dave come for about two weeks and my Mom and Dad, who are currently in the middle of a two week visit. It's been great to have them all around to help us, but also just for them to spend time with their grandson. Unfortunately, both sets of grandparents live in Ontario and so they won't be able to see him as often as they'd like.

My brother Jon and his wife Michele and their two kids have visited several times. They were especially helpful in the first few days after Tiernan was born, as were Michele's parents. Jon and Michele live nearby, so at least we know some relatives will be able to keep visiting.

Tiernan has enjoyed having visitors over, happily being passed from person to person when friends or family come to see him. If you want to visit, he'd love to see you and so would we!

Tiernan's Birth

We are delighted to announce the birth of our son. Tiernan Marc Bonnar was born at 6:25 p.m. on Friday, February 17th, at Surrey Memorial Hospital. At birth, he weighed 7 pounds, 6 ounces, and was 19 inches long. He is a healthy, beautiful baby and was very quiet and content the first 24 hours.

Deb began labour at 2:15 a.m. on Friday, the 17th, a few minutes after her water broke. Contractions were about 8 minutes apart at that time. We fell asleep again at about 5 a.m., then woke up at 7. We were surprised to find that contractions were now around 3 minutes apart! We called the midwife and she and a student midwife came to see Deb. She said that although the contractions were close together, they weren't very intense. So, we waited around at home for a few hours, using the different techniques we learned to try to keep her comfortable.

By 12 noon, she was feeling very uncomfortable. The midwife came over again to check and said it would probably be a good time to go to the hospital. So we got in the car (which I had already packed earlier that morning) and headed off to Surrey. Deb was extremely uncomfortable in the car and I was very happy when we got there. We went straight up to a room and got settled in. By this time the contractions were quite bad. Deb didn't want Demerol if it could be helped. She tried the Nitrous Oxide, but didn't like the way it made her feel. So, we continued for a while without any intervention. By about 3:30 or 4 p.m., she was 7 cm dilated. The pain was now pretty intense, because Tiernan was very low and she was already feeling a strong need to push.

They started an IV, because she was getting dehydrated, but they had real trouble keeping the IV in place. By this time, Deb was really wanting an epidural, but by the time they finally got a bag of IV fluids in her, she was 9 cm dilated. We decided to keep going without an epidural. Thirty minutes later, she was fully dilated. At 5:15, she began pushing. At 6:25, Tiernan was out! He'd had his hand up, making it harder to get him out, but still it was a pretty fast pushing stage.

Tiernan was very healthy at birth. His head was quite elongated, but otherwise he looked perfect! He was wide awake and very alert for the first hour. Then he was very sleepy, almost dopey, for the next two days. It was actually difficult to wake him up to eat. He fell asleep
almost right away every time we tried to breast feed. He latched okay, but would suck 3 or 4 times and then fall asleep. Before too long, we started using a bottle, just to make sure he was actually eating. We struggled for the first few days to get him to breast feed, mostly using breast milk in a bottle. He's doing much better at it now.

We came home from hospital Sunday evening, the 19th. I stayed home from work with Deb the first week. And thank goodness I did. We were both quite exhausted all week long. I mean, you hear how tired you'll be, but you have no idea until you're actually experiencing it. We considered it a success if we had time to have a shower!

Despite the difficulties of labour and the tiring first week, it is a wonderful experience to be parents. He is so beautiful and we love to spend time with him, even just holding him in our arms. We waited a long time before having our first child. He makes it worth the wait.